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Cartoon: Created and Designed by Jonathan Smith, Sul Ross Senior
John Stevens: Good Stories Worth Printing And Retelling
Steve Lang
News And Publications
All the news that's fit to print." - The New York Times motto
"All the news that fits, we print." - Countless other newspapers
When John Stevens, Sul Ross' Print Services supervisor, retires in January, I will lose a window on the weird.
John and I have worked in the same department for nearly 10 of his 25 years on campus. I will miss his sense of humor, particularly the conversations, phone calls, and emails relating the weird goings-on in the world, sometimes right here in West Texas.
He has supplied his share of eyewitness accounts, including a couple of turkey stories, the time he loaned his guitar to Willie Nelson, and suggestions to his National Guard squadron commander that the circus might possess more sophisticated artillery than the military.
He sat me down to coffee one morning relating how one motorcyclist saw life pass before his very eyes...propelled by a flying turkey.
Too often, catastrophe and comedy are divided by a slender thread, a tick in time or a slight turn of the wheel or events, and this time, comedy won.
John witnessed the scenario while driving to Marfa on Highway 90 one afternoon. A helmeted biker, riding a no-windshield Harley approached in the eastbound lane about a mile east of Paisano Pass.
As the vehicles were about to meet, a turkey flew out of the north bar ditch, barreling south, head-high.
"I thought, 'This isn't Thanksgiving and this is no way to get your bird,'" John said. "I was witnessing potential disaster. I also wondered if any investigating officer would take my eyewitness account without first administering a sobriety test."
Fortunately, the turkey whizzed past the unsuspecting biker's face with only inches to spare, but the biker literally flipped the bird.
Wind generated by the passing motorcycle ruffled the turkey's feathers to the point it lost altitude, "went into a stall, I believe is correct aeronautical terminology," John said. The bird tumbled unceremoniously to the side of the road and rolled.
A report on the turkey's condition was unavailable, although I suggested several barbecue recipes.
"Aw, it looked kinda scrawny," John said, "and I'd had enough of turkeys for one day, both at work and on the way home."
This served as a prelude to another turkey encounter, this one a fatal meeting near San Angelo, but this stuff truly happens all the time in West Texas.
"The grass in the ditches was real high that summer, waiting to be mowed, and as I drove along, a turkey zipped out of that five- or six-foot stuff, crunched into my windshield, spider-webbed it, and landed in the box," he recalled.
"Once again, it killed my appetite for turkey until November, especially after paying the deductible."
John served in a field artillery unit during his six years with the Texas National Guard, test-firing cannons and maintaining vigilance over the West Texas landscape during monthly training meetings.
"I am proud to say not a single enemy jet made it past Fabens," John noted.
During one of John's final meetings, a new company commander greeted the troops and proceeded to describe new and improved artillery soon to be implemented.
One of the new guns, according to the commander, could fire a heavier, broader shell a greater distance with stunning accuracy. When he paused, a hand was raised and caught the commander's attention.
"That's very impressive, Sir, but have you heard about this outfit called Barnum and Bailey?
"They seem to be way ahead of the Army. They've got cannons that can fire people!"
When I called John the other morning, I dispensed with details of a couple of print orders, then asked a more important question:
"Anything strange going on that I should know about?"
"No," he said, "but it's early."
After all his contributions, I decided it was my turn.
"Google the 'Hillary Clinton Nutrcracker,'" I suggested.
Steve Lang wishes John Stevens a pleasant retirement interrupted by as little work as possible.
Adios, por un mes, y muchas gracias
Trey Darby
From The Editor's Desk
This is the last edition of "The Skyline" for fall 2007, and our staff would like to thank its faithful, and even occasional, readers.
As predicted, we've seen some changes and challenges this semester, and managed to survive them all. We've had some good reporters and photographers come and go, some challenging moments, and our share of embarrassments – we prefer to refer to them as "learning opportunities."
We've even seen some creative competition from a little paper we here at "The Skyline" endearingly refer to as "that ol' 'Rag.'"
However, and possibly at the occasional expense of our readers, I think we've had a good semester.
I would like to share my appreciation for a great student staff, who will never be thanked enough: reporters, photographers, layout and web designers, advertising and circulation managers, and a very creative cartoonist.
For the names of the not-so-innocent, see the "staff box," above.
These students have all demonstrated their capabilities in the fast-paced profession of journalism, while concurrently mastering their own specific degrees.
I'd also like to thank our advisers, Drs. Brad and Laura Butler; News and Publications Director Steve Lang; photographer and news writer Jason Hennington; department secretary Kathy Granado; Associate VP of Advancement and University Relations Leo Dominguez; and our previous adviser, Barbara Richerson. Without the direction - and freedom - given by these folks, "The Skyline" staff might have produced a paper, but wouldn't have learned so much in the process.
Additional thanks to our unpaid contributors: everyone – from students and faculty, to alumni and community members who shared ideas and comments, articles and opinions, and "Letters to the Editor," and to our printer, Monahans News, without whose patience and expertise our first-ever color Homecoming edition wouldn't have been possible.
This semester, we've tried some new things – some have worked and some have not. Next semester, we will continue to try new things. Some will work, some will not, and we hope that our readers will continue to let us know how we're doing.
I hope that everyone enjoys our month off and I look forward to more changes and challenges next semester.
Hasta la vista, Lobos.
Sul Ross Is What It Is, Which Is Pretty Good
By David Johnson
Skyline Contribitor
You've probably heard someone on campus say, "Sul Ross sucks," "the cafeteria food sucks," "the dorms suck," or some vacuous comment to that effect. You may have even said so yourself. Well they're wrong. Sul Ross doesn't suck, and here's why.
Sul Ross is what it is
We're a small, public, state university in the middle of nowhere. That's no offense to Alpine, Marfa, or the rest of the Big Bend; Sul Ross is just far away from any metropolitan area -- two and a half hours to Odessa and the nearest mall, about the same to El Paso and a proper city.
But then you knew that coming here, or at least you should have and have no excuse if you didn't.
Sul Ross isn't UT, it isn't A&M or Texas Tech. It's not UTEP or UTD, for that matter. If you judge us by that standard, of course we'll come off poorly, but you're an idiot if you do.
Most of the local activities available are natural in nature, but the majority of the entertainment is geared toward college students. If you haven't noticed, the theater's movie selection is disproportionately aimed at college students, as are most all of the bands that play here. And obviously the bars in the town down the hill.
What it is is pretty good
Of course if you spent less time at them and had a moment of sober reflection, you might see how good, not just relatively good, but actually good, things are.
Look, say what you will about Sully Productions, they do a fantastic job at scheduling people to come here in spite of consistently sparse attendance: Last year's "The Female Orgasm," all of the "ThinkFast" competitions, other things I'm forgetting, and many more I didn't attend, either. There are purely academic things available (a well-stocked library, concerts, public speakers) and student performances, too. If you'd rather drink than attend them, that's not the university's fault.
If you don't know it or have forgotten, the Lobo Villages are better than Mountainside or Fletcher. They'd be a hell of a lot better if the freshmen and other slobs actually made an attempt to pick up after themselves, but having a suitemate as opposed to a roommate is a change that cannot be overstated. Being able to shower at 9 a.m. and still get hot water cannot be overstated. Having working air conditioners and heaters for your room cannot be overstated.
In the middle of complaining about what's wrong with the dorms (and there are things to be complained about), we should remember all of the things right about them: Very decent Internet connections with no download/upload cap that I'm aware of, and a respectable selection of cable channels are things easy to take for granted until there's a power outage. Then you start to appreciate them.
HBO and Showtime go above the call of duty, but the school getting the NFL Network for the night of the Packers-Cowboys game last Thursday exceed all reasonable expectations. That's impressive stuff.
For dorm students, being forced to buy a meal plan leaves a bad taste in your mouth, and that's probably what's keeping you from realizing that no, the food isn't awful, and yes, it's gotten much better. The day of "Surf & Turf," I don't remember what it was officially called, marked a new day in cafeteria history. Some of the changes are little, like leaving the juices on all day. Some of them are probably only big to me, like cooking omelettes on Fridays in addition to Sundays. But the school is trying to change for the better and is responsive to ideas, more than we can say for most people.
Students are the university
Ultimately, who comes here? Students. Who, in general, is apathetic toward academics? Students. Who is disinterested in campus life? Students. Who tends to make problems worse or at the very least do nothing about them instead of trying to fix them? Students.
The administration has its faults. It's far from perfect. It deserves criticism, whether it comes from economics professors, students, or grumbling groundsmen. But think for a moment about the transformation that could come about in a very short time if the average student decided to have personal responsibility, party less and study more, and try to do something about the problems around him- or herself.
Despite what some might say, we are not stupid, incapable of advanced understanding, or intellectual improvement.
I won't go so far as to say we have the potential for great things, but we have the potential for very good things.
But if Sul Ross sucks, it's because we suck, and if we don't watch out we'll suck our potentials right down the drain without accomplishing something great, good, or even worthwhile.
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The Skyline Newspaper
