The Skyline Newspaper

Cartoon: Created and Designed by Jonathan Smith, Sul Ross Senior

On Passing Time, Classes and Possibly Kidney Stones

Steve Lang
News and Publications

Forty years after the Israelites left Egypt to wander in the wilderness, they found their promised land.

Forty years after leaving Elbow Lake High School, I promise you I'm still looking.

But, my wanderings carried me back to Elbow Lake in August for the 40-year reunion of the Class of 1967.

I joined a doctor, a lawyer, a merchant, a chief (Executive Officer); classmates whose combined military service adds up to well over a century; teachers, farmers, nurses, sales representatives, shade-tree mechanics, engineers, biologists, computer wizards, crop sprayers, marathoners and rodeo fans.

Debate may still rage, arguing that we evolved into the people our parents warned us about or actually amounted to something.

No lies about our lives were necessary because after 40 years on the outside, the truth usually emerges more chilling, humbling, enlightening, tragic and often downright funnier than most fabrications.

Since we last met as a class five years ago, I married, divorced, earned a master's degree, attended two more Rolling Stones concerts, taught news writing classes at the university level and wrote a book and a play that remain unpublished. Readers may insert chilling, humbling, enlightening, tragic and funny at any point and in any order in the previous sentence and to tell the truth, it probably works.

What did I learn in those intervening years?

• I learned that I could retire tomorrow ... if I don't live past next Tuesday.
• I learned to heed Dave Barry's warning never to take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
• I learned to use the Internet to book flights from Texas to Minnesota - or at least points in between -- because driving from Alpine, Texas to Elbow Lake is still at least 1491.93 miles and 24 hours' behind-the-wheel time that could be better spent elsewhere.
• I learned the truth in Marx' words - Groucho's, not Karl's - including: "If you want to find the perfect man (or woman), get a dead one and teach him to breathe" and, "Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
• I learned that 40 years transforms a youth too tall for his weight into an adult too short for it.
• I learned the Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
• I learned that the difference between a Democrat, a Republican and a criminal is not determined by principle as much as by Presidential pardon.
• I learned the words to "Hail to the Chief."
• I learned that pain is inevitable, but misery is an option.
• I'm still learning to talk less and listen longer.

And, most importantly, I learned that the best way to retain any semblance of youth is to hang around Sul Ross.

Steve Lang notes that a mind is a terrible thing to waste and a waist is a terrible thing to mind.

A Modest Proposal to Immigrants

By David Johnson
Skyline Contributor

America has been going through a lot of problems lately, and a lot of people have spent a lot of time talking about why. You could read a shelf of books on the subject, but for your benefit I'm going to use Occam's razor to cut through the bull and give it to you straight -- it's the Mexicans.

America has always been a melting pot. From the beginning we've opened our arms to white, Northern European Protestants from ALL corners of the globe and welcomed diversity, no matter how English-speaking or Christian a group may be. We all know what it says at the Statue of Liberty: "Give me your well-educated, middle-upper class within a given quota," and no one is saying we should change that, but now things are different.

America is the greatest country on earth. People from all over the world hate us because they know they're not Americans, and they do their best to blow us up. But Mexicans do something even worse; they want to live here.

Mexico has a long history of trying to live in America. In fact, from 1821 to 1849, thousands of illegal Mexican aliens lived in California, New Mexico, and Arizona until American armies liberated the continental United States from Mexican despotism with the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo. In 1830, the Mexican government even dared to pass a law barring decent, hardworking Americans from crossing into Texas. Luckily, tens of thousands of Americans ignored this completely unjust decree, and six years later Texas was freed from the oppressive tyranny of forcible assimilation into an alien culture.

But these days, it's not like that. Other than half the people I know and interact with in daily life, I can't think of a single Hispanic person that even speaks English, much less has American values. And I have a problem with that because this is America.

Because of this, people have called me a bigot, but I'm not prejudiced or xenophobic. I just don't like interacting with people of a different ethnic background, being within earshot of another language, or living among immigrant groups that got here after my ancestors. Call me old-fashioned.

Let me make one thing clear: I support legal immigration fully.

But we need a two thousand mile long fence that ignores natural geography and splits the Rio Grande in half to keep any Mexicans from coming into this country. First, we need to deport everyone with a Spanish surname, just to be safe.Then, after we give out some work visas to locate construction workers, spend a few hundred billion dollars building the fence and staff it with several thousand border patrol guards paid well enough that they can't be bought off by smugglers. Then, all our problems will be solved.

Just look at history. Walls have a pretty good track record. The ones at Jericho saved it from the Hebrews, the one in China kept the Mongols out, and the Berlin Wall did a pretty darn good job of stifling illegal immigration until some moron told Mr. Gorbachev to tear it down. We could learn a lot about running a strong, permanently enduring nation from the Soviets.

Look, it's "possible" that the United States' problems are some combination of a transition into a post-industrial economy; increasingly global business competition; the inevitable inflation of fiat currency; military overextension caused by expansionist foreign policy; failure of our culture to truly value education, especially of math and sciences; or a reliance on an inefficient government to provide and regulate social welfare.

But Occam's razor says the simplest answer is the correct one, and saying it's the Mexicans' fault is pretty simple.

But don't take my word for it. Go listen to Lou Dobbs for yourself.

To the Editor,

On August 15th and 16th the Board of Regents held a meeting hosted by Sul Ross State University. The Board is made up of nine members appointed by Governor Rick Perry with one student representative who has no vote.

I was given the privilege of having the opportunity to speak before the regents on the last day of their visit to Sul Ross. As I prepared to speak, I watched and listened to the other speakers who were present.

Every Texas State University System president was in attendance and presented their reports. As I sat listening to most of the reports, which addressed financial, construction, contract, and, most importantly, school attendance concerns for their specific universities, I was shocked to hear Chancellor Matthews make a motion that the Board of Regents approve a salary increase for all the presidents of the Texas State University System.

Matthews requested a vote on the increase be held at this time due to the fact that some of the regents' terms would expire prior to the next meeting, and it would mean having to bring the new appointees to the Board of Regents up to speed on the situation. He was making an effort to expedite the process of a salary increase for the presidents. In the end, the motion was postponed by the other regents, but I was surprised to see Chancellor Matthews press the issue.

When it came time for me to speak, the topics I addressed were specifically my concerns for Sul Ross State University: the Industrial Arts and Fine Arts and Communication programs, two programs that were at one time a strong draw for enrollment at the university.

I pointed out that in the many years of major university renovations, these programs had often been ignored and overlooked by the administration and that the buildings of these two departments had not been renovated. I do not feel that this was due to a lack of funds. If the board were as concerned about enrollment and retention as they said they were, I question their wisdom.

I was surprised that the regents would even consider discussing salary increases for university presidents when such programs could use additional funding. I also wished them to consider the poor condition of our intramural fields used by the students and the community at large. The average starting salary of a ground maintenance employee a paltry $16,000. Surely there are better ways to spend this money to make a more productive place to invest (of course they looked at me as if I were crazy).

As students, where do you stand? What do you think? Do we need to spend money on improving university facilities and programs or on the yearly salaries of university presidents that currently exceed 200,000 dollars? How do you want your tuition, your sales tax dollars and your parent's taxpayer money spent? It is not too late to let your opinion be heard. Let the university presidents, the Board of Regents, and Governor Perry know.

Clarence Russeau

The Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

Nurse John Hughes
Guest Columnist

Remember the old proverb to be mindful of the wolf in sheep's clothing? In an effort to increase sales, the producers and servers of alcoholic beverages continue to offer products that hide the alcohol.

Be careful of alcoholic beverages that taste like soda pop, as these sweet drinks are not benign and can catch their prey off guard. An awareness of this fact is the first step toward self-limitation when alcohol is served.

Even those who enjoy their spirits straight need to play it safe with the lurking wolf.

Don't be fooled by popular myths like the one that college is about drinking. This is a poor excuse for the irresponsible consumption of alcohol.

Form the habit of alternating alcoholic drinks with non-alcoholic beverages when partying or out on the town.

This allows the fun to continue without succumbing to the devastating effects of intoxication.

Taken in moderation, alcoholic beverages have a sedating effect that usually helps people to relax. This all changes with overindulgence. Drinking to get drunk is an immature and dangerous behavior. Severely altered judgment can lead to alcohol induced violence or coma. Such episodes usually result in a lifetime of regret for the individuals, their friends and/or family.

When alcoholic beverages are part of the good times, pay attention to the sly wolf. Learn to respect the untamable.